okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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