look no pants
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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