tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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