Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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