I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize