Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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