I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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