She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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