I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
