Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.