I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What's dad's email?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.