I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
