She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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