cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
