I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
