well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
