What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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