Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
