saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize