...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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