the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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