nut hugger
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize