It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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