i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
