I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
