you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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