Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
