He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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