he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
