He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
