Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
