My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
