So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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