my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
