she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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