Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
