what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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