i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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