i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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