Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
