He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize