why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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