maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
