Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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