you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize