there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.