Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?

(248): View more from Michigan

oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.

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(248): so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right? (248): oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left. http://tfl.nu/uut9

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(210): View more from Texas

I molested 6 butterflies tonight

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(210): I molested 6 butterflies tonight http://tfl.nu/fk5z

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees

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(201): we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees http://tfl.nu/26hp

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!

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(812): I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah! http://tfl.nu/iijo

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(856): View more from New Jersey

He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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(856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs

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(503): View more from Oregon

There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.

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(503): There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday. http://tfl.nu/i12b

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(713): View more from Texas

He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.

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(713): He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off. http://tfl.nu/azk9

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(323): View more from California

Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me

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(323): Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me http://tfl.nu/3sp3

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(213): View more from California

Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.

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(213): Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics. http://tfl.nu/j3g0

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.

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(860): Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both. http://tfl.nu/abj8

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration

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(617): I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration http://tfl.nu/vmlp

Replies (5) Good night (387) Bad night (960)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.

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(973): The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave. http://tfl.nu/0jfg

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(630): View more from Illinois

Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.

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(630): Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in. http://tfl.nu/lkgb

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(425): View more from Washington

It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that

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(425): It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that http://tfl.nu/4xxj

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.

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(843): I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done. http://tfl.nu/68sv

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