so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry