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so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
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