people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
