I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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