I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
