it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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