Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
