I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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