the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I understand Curling. That high.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
