I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
