idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
