Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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