i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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