Sponge bath it is.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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